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Love is Love

by Nola on June 16, 2016

This past weekend, a hate-filled young man took the lives of 49 people in Orlando. I admit I was glued to the television for a whole day, mesmerized. I was trying my best to understand what motivated him, and how anyone could do something so heinous. My first thought was that he must have been deeply wounded himself in order to want to lash out in that way. At this point, the official answers are still mostly speculation.

I realize my quest to understand was at least partly a search for how to keep myself and my loved ones safe.

And then I realize there is no absolute safety. When it is our turn to go Home, we will go, whether by the hand of a mad gunman or in a traffic accident. Or perhaps the slow-growing tendrils of cancer.

My health update is that I’ve had my ileostomy reversal surgery and it was a complete success. The surgery itself went like clockwork. I spent only 24 hours in the hospital, and my recovery has been without a hitch. Life has returned to normal in every way for me. Yet I am still on a personal quest to understand all the reasons my cancer recurred. I am looking closely within myself and working with a counselor to turn over every stone. My belief is that–for me–getting cancer was a gift, a way to deepen the experience of living. I don’t want to miss receiving any part of that gift. So I’m looking and processing and looking some more.

And I am writing again. My body has apparently healed to the point that I don’t need quite as much sleep. I find myself waking naturally after just eight hours instead of nine or ten. For the first time this morning, I sat at my computer for two hours before work and added some words to Hawk’s Promise. This surprising little story keeps wanting to turn into something bigger. I am letting it take the lead. I should be done in another couple of weeks and the manuscript will be going to Beachwalk Press for consideration.

Meanwhile, I am trying to remember to really see the clouds pass in the blue sky, to stop and watch the swallows dip and swerve in the morning light, to make eye contact with the people I love and make sure they hear me when I say I love them.

Love is love is love is love.

Thanks for stopping by.

~Nola
“Small town…big love.” 

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